Monday, 2 January 2012

In Denial...

Back to work tomorrow. It's the first time since my dad died. I used my compassionate leave, and then went to the doctor who gave me a sick note for four weeks. The cynical might think that I was lucky being off work over Christmas and New Year, but, although I appreciated the chance to spend more time with my mum as well as having a bit of 'me' time, I would obviously have given anything for my dad to still be here, and for me to have just been going to work every day as normal. The past few weeks certainly haven't been very enjoyable and I don't consider myself 'lucky' to have had such a long break. However, I'm not looking forwards to going back to work either, in fact, I'm dreading it. I know what a burden it puts on everyone else when someone is off work for any length of time, so there's a kind of guilt there, and worrying about what I'll be walking back into. I've worked in this same job for over 11 years, and I used to love it, it was perfect for me. But there have been so many changes over the last two or three years, and whilst I recognise that change is sometimes necessary, I can't say I like the way things are going. I think my heart's just not in it anymore. I used to care about my work, but I don't really care now. I still strive to do my best every day, but my best never seems to be enough, they always want that extra pound of flesh. I feel like the job is going in a certain direction, and I just can't keep up with it. But I can't imagine what else I could do, so for now, I'm stuck there. Sigh...

So even though it's 9.15pm and I should be thinking about going to bed early for a change, I've decided to write a blog post instead! Like I said, in denial...

Yesterday I thought it would be a good idea to start as we mean to go on, and go for a healthy, bracing New Year's Day walk. We went to a popular boating lake called Yeadon Tarn, but when we got there it looked like this:

So we sat in the car and ate this:

We're fair-weather walkers, I'm afraid!!

Today being THE LAST DAY OF FREEDOM it's been a stay at home day, a mix of trying to get things ready for work, whilst at the same time being IN DENIAL about it and wishing we had the power to stop time. For the last three days I've been getting in some practice at getting up early so that tomorrow morning doesn't come as too much of a shock - I've set my alarm for 5.15am and every morning I've dragged myself out of bed an hour later. Doesn't bode well for tomorrow. So I was in the living room at 6.30am with a cup of tea, having a bit of quiet hooky-time! One of my intentions for this year is to try and do more crochet; as much as I enjoy it, I hardly did any last year. I was thinking about what I wrote in my last post, about the books I got for Christmas - "nothing really jumped out at me", which means there's nothing there that I want to make. And then I had an epiphany. Just make it anyway!! Pick a fairly small, quick project and have a go, just for the hell of it(/for the practice)! My ripple blanket will probably take me all year, so I'm just going to have to break off now and again to do something else. So, I haven't made anything from the books, but I did kind of borrow from a couple of patterns to produce this:

A pink pouch...

... for...

... my pink Nintendo!!

Ok, I know it's not exactly ground-breaking, but I'm quietly pleased with it. I was going to put a flap over the top, but I didn't like how it looked so I frogged it and just left the top open. However, at a later date I might put a kind of chain loop on it, and put a button on the front, if I can find a nice button.

Speaking of the ripple blanket, it is progressing slowly:

I laid it over the bed for the first time today. I thought it would hang over by about 6 inches either side... erm, it touches the floor on both sides. Oops. Oh well, I'm sure the cats will have hours of fun hiding under it and swiping unsuspecting ankles...

Another of my intentions for this year (and every year) is to try and declutter. One area that needs it is my wardrobe. Like a lot of women, I have loads of clothes that I never wear, because I generally wear the same favourites over and over again. I read a tip somewhere (probably Pinterest) which suggested turning all your hangers backwards, like this:

Yes I've blacked out the sizes, what of it?!

Or if that's how you usually have then, then turn them forwards. Anyway, leave them like that, and every time you wear something, put the hanger the right way around. In June, anything that is still on a backwards hanger goes to charity. To remind myself that I'm doing this, I even made a poster:

Hey! I'm no artist!!
As you can see, I'm going to check at the end of every month to see if there is anything I'm willing to part with. I'm not sure how well I'll stick to this plan; I'm worried I might cheat and wear things once, for a couple of hours, just to be able to turn the hanger back around!

Mind you, there should be plenty to get rid of because once we've finished the last of the Christmas chocolates...

... nothing will fit me!!

Finally, can I pick your brain please? Have you ever used any of the following kind of yarn, and/or do you have any suggestions as to what I could make with it? I've kind of had a go at crocheting but it just doesn't look right, so I don't know what to do with it. Is it better suited to knitting rather than crochet?

Any suggestions welcome!

Anyway, it's no good, I'm going to have to go to bed. Wish me luck at getting to work on time tomorrow!


  1. Hi Michelle, I hope you got off to work ok and on time and it wasn't as bad as you may have thought. Perhaps a new job will present itself to you this year, just put it out there and you never know. Good idea on the coat hanger trick to get rid of excess clothes, I don't have that many to worry about, although there are a couple lurking that need to go see the Charity shop and find a new home.
    I can see the bottom two yarns knitted up into scarfs, the top one would make a cute little top/dress for a baby.
    May 2012 bring you much happiness.
    xx Sandi

  2. Hope today goes ok at work for you. It's always hard getting back in to the routine when you've been off for any length of time, but I can imagine that it's even worse when you're off under the circumstances which you have been. That's a great idea turning the coat hangers round the other way. I wonder how many garments you'll part with. I love the Nintendo pouch, it looks great, and the colours which you're crocheting your ripple blanket with are lovely. I'd like to have a go at a ripple but I need to get the granny square blanket finished first. I too am going to break off to knit and crochet some other smaller things, the granny square blanket is taking ages. I haven't tried any of the yarns, but have you looked on Ravelry? You can do a search on there and find patterns or find projects which others have made.


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