Tuesday, 13 March 2012

Remember...

... how the last 6 months of 2011 were generally crap, and some very sad events happened to my family? And remember how we were looking forwards to 2012, hoping for a new year, fresh start, things-could-only-get-better type of situation? Well, 2012 has let me down. Another crap thing has happened already, and it's only March, for God's sake!

So I'm allowing myself a few more days of wallowing in sadness, anger and frustration, but I know I really need to pick myself up, dust myself down, give myself a good shake, possibly even slap myself round the face a couple of times to shock me back into action. I'm sitting on the bed typing this, but I'm glancing out of the window thinking it looks like a lovely day - not sunny, but with not a breath of wind. The trees are slowly starting to get some colour back on them, and the branches are a flurry of activity, with all kinds of birds flitting here and there. Every so often, a squirrel (we think we've got three regulars now, so I don't know which one) runs across the garage roof to steal some more nuts from the feeders. I should be out there, enjoying it, taking photos (my poor camera has been neglected for too long). I was reading one of my favourite blogs, Just So, earlier and admiring the photos of Sandra's latest spontaneous walk, and thinking, I need to do that. I just need to get out more!! I'm not too well at the moment though, so the walking might have to wait a bit, but I could at least get out in the garden. I'm going to try and make the effort tomorrow. In fact, what the heck, I might go and sit out there now. Chris will be home soon, I might surprise him by sitting in the garden with a cup of tea waiting for him!

I know in my last post I was bemoaning the fact that I was spending too much time on my computer, and that certain things, including this blog, had to be sacrificed a bit. I never intended to neglect it as much as I have though, and I really want to get back into it, just maybe with a bit more control (like saving everything for one post a week, or something like that). I still need to sort my head out though, and get my thoughts into some kind of order, but hopefully that won't take too much longer. I've actually really missed blogging! Maybe the break was just what I needed?

Anyway, this was one of those waffling, all over the place posts - sorry about that. I just felt I needed to write something. I'm off to make that cuppa and sit outside... unless looks are deceiving and it's actually freezing!!

3 comments:

  1. Hi Michelle, nice to see you back again, sorry you've been having a rubbish time and thanks for your nice comments :-) Think if you are not up to long walks maybe just set little 'baby steps' for yourself that you can then feel good about? Sometimes just succeeding in getting out in the garden with a cuppa is as much of an achievement as anything else. I do have days when I can barely make myself function but I have some things that I resort to that do help to take me out of myself, if you know what I mean - silly things like baking or planting seeds or on a nice day going for a wander. And I am certain that the weather plays a huge part in my mood - I am not good at all when we have long spells of dull grey yukky weather. Try not to be too hard on yourself, indulge in a little of what makes you feel good about yourself and give yourself a pat on the back now and again even for the little things! xx

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  2. Michelle you poor love, I hope today you are feeling more like your old self and that you were able to get out into that sunshine and breathe in some lovely fresh air.
    I love Sandra's blog too, lovely lady.
    Take care, be kind to yourself.
    xxoo Sandi

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  3. Ah bless you. I think EVERYONE has those thoughts. I came off Facebook last week as felt that I wasted too many evenings on it. I have this flitting thought with Blogging too. Not sure where to take my blog. I often wonder whether to end it soon (when I reach my anniversary of a year) and start another secret one where it won't be so incestuous.
    Hope you are ok. Thinking of you
    x xx x x

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